Three 50'S

I have had a chance to have some great conversations come out of including a sentence in last week's blog about my battle with porn addiction.  After living in Hesston for 10 years, I guess I just assumed everybody knew.

I have not tried to hide it: I lead seminars on "Sex, Porn, and Intimacy"; I speak about it in youth group, from the pulpit, at youth conferences; have talked about it an ad for the Hesston Record.  But in case you've missed it, my testimony is this:

15 years ago I told Sal about my problem with porn.  Toughest thing on our marriage, ever.  Greatest burden ever shed, but just the beginning of learning more of who God created me to be.  At first I was so ashamed and didn't want anyone to know.  Slowly but surely, as God brought people into my life that I could share my past with, He showed me there was forgiveness and victory.

I call it an addiction to porn, because I believe that unless I continue to make choices to protect myself from temptations, I will get sucked right back into it.  On one hand I loved it, while on the other I hated it.  Satan would always tell me that I couldn't tell anybody about it.  That people would reject me and hate me if I told anyone.  What a liar.  Oh, I'm sure there are some that do.  But God has given me so much strength through the power of people knowing my past.

And there are three 50's that motivate me to share with people my story:

1. 50% of men/boys use porn- Some surveys say that number could be higher.  I go by 50%.  I know most people will think, "Not my family.  Not my husband.  Not my son.  Not my dad."  In my experiences and conversations, I have found 50% to be true.  If you want help, find someone you trust to talk to.  Also, check out www.xxxchurch.com.  Great resource.
2. 50% of junior highers have engaged in oral sex- Again, my guess is your saying, "No, not here in Hesston."  Parents, we have got to talk to our children not just about the birds and the bees, but about true love, intimacy, and God's plan for marriage.  It is not the church's, school's or a friend's responsibility to be the primary influence of our kids.  It is us as parents.  We have got to step up and have the tough conversations, even about oral sex.  Pick up Jim Burn's book "The Purity Code" for some great direction.
3. 50% of marriages end in divorce- I think we are afraid to say our marriage is struggling.  It is tough.  We grow up dating and dabbling in sex/intimacy with the out of breaking up.  What is it really like to give 100% to another person even when they don't deserve it.  We have to do a better job in our churches of teaching God's perspective of biblical marriage and offering resources to help couples before the "D" word starts being used.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose."  I will continue to talk about sex, porn, and intimacy for the rest of my life.  Christ offers freedom and deliverance through Truth.