DebriS

Are You Ready?  Yes I am.  August is one of my favorite months.  Weather starts to cool off and the kids are off to school.  That can only mean one thing:  football.  Love the High School football.  Even as a former Hillsboro Trojan, it was easy to love the Swathers.  When you work with the youth and you see them giving their best, the romance blossoms quickly.  Love the Huskers.  Again, growing up in Hillsboro in the '80s, there was no Kansas football to love.  I'm not exaggerating when I say I don't think either University ever won a game in the '80s.  I'm happy things have turned around for them now.  But there's no place like Nebraska.  And I love to fall asleep Sunday afternoons to the Pros.  I've changed my philosophy on Fantasy Football.  I only draft guys from the 3 or 4 teams I like.  For some reason the Browns players are always available.

Long day yesterday.  Our Sunday School classes kicked off with the Gospel Project.  It's a themed curriculum that connects 2 year olds thru senior adults.  Everybody study the same ideas on their level.  First time we've tried it.  Right after lunch I headed to Tulsa with Ronnie B.  If you are from Oklahoma, explain to me how it is they charge all those tolls and their roads still suck.  Mr. Sooner, please invest our toll money back into the road.  We actually had a great trip.  Attended a Small Group seminar at Discovery Bible Church.  It was awesome!!  I am very excited about the direction our Community Groups are headed.  As a youth pastor, it took about 4 attempts over 6 years to get the Hesston Youth's small groups working efficiently.  My guess is it will take some time with these as well, but I feel better prepared.

I assume we all have phrases or Bible verses that spur us on to start, finish, or persevere through life's challenges.  While working at Echo Ranch, we gobbled up any and all info that would come to us from the outside world.  Once or twice a week someone would come back from town with not only the mail, but also a USA Today.  As I read the Sports Section line by line, I came across this quote which I clipped and having taped to my computer at work:

"If you become paralyzed by the thought that you may be criticized for doing something, you're never going to be the risk taker you need to be as a good coach or leader.  Risk taking is part of it.  If it doesn't work out, you've got to accept the responsibility."  Philosopher/Coach Jeff VanGundy

Risk taking as a leader isn't permission to be reckless.  It's the courage to take a first step.

I close with a shout out to my friend, Kyle.  Character is often revealed through adversity and/or change.  You're a very good man.

Back to schooL

WOW!!  Do you love it?  What do you think of the "Breaking Bad-ish", chart of elements title?  Sally's brother, Tommy G from the 57350, hooked me up with that.  He's a great artist.  Tom and his wife, Steph, are the ones who took Cass' senior pics.  They do good work.  Thanks guys!

SPOILER ALERT!!  No Sex, Porn, or Intimacy this article.  I know some of you will quit reading but I can't provide good gossip fodder every week.  However, I hadn't planned on writing the things I wrote the last two weeks, so you never know what you might get.  One of my weaknesses is that if I think it, I'll probably say it, or in this case, type it.  Reminds me of the story from when we used to live up in Alaska and worked at Echo Ranch.  Each summer we would have volunteers come in to help make the camp run.  There was this dear, sweet old lady named Maude who worked in the kitchen.  It's Alaska, so everyday, pretty much it rains.  One morning I'm in the kitchen before she gets to the Dining Hall.  Maude comes walking around the corner with a plastic sack over her head.  And I say to Maude, "You look like a bag!"  Probably had to be there for it to be funny, but they wouldn't let me forget I'd called her an Old Bag.  Good memory nonetheless.

OLYMPIC UPDATE:  I enjoyed the Olympics.  I "hate" the NBC execs for putting basketball and soccer on the former Versus channel, but I also understand they are wanting to drive traffic to their new channel.  As you probably heard, the USA won most medals.  46 gold and 104 overall.  Did you know 31 were in Swimming and 29 in Track & Field?  Amazing.  2/3 of medals came from two venues.  My favorite story of the Olympics comes from my birth country of the Dominican Republic. In their history, they had only won 4 Summer Olympic medals...ever.  2 gold, 1 silver, and 1 bronze.    One of the gold medals won in 2004 was by Felix Sanchez.  He runs the 400 m hurdles.  In 2008 his grandma died the morning Felix was to race in the Olympics.  He came in 22nd out of 25.  This year, school had already started at the University in Santo Domingo, so the administration setup TVs around campus and let the students out of class to watch him run.  Felix won the 400 m hurdles again.  1st, 22nd, and then 1st.  I read that they are going to rename the Olympic Stadium in Santo Domingo after him.  He is 35 years old.  So do you think proportionately that Sanchez is a bigger deal to the Dominicans than Phelps is to the Americans?

SCHOOL:  Tomorrow is the first day of school in Hesston.  Cassidy is a Senior in high school.  Carson starts his Freshman year.  And Sally is still at the middle school.  Mondays are my day off.  I can't wait for August 20, my first Monday in 3 months with nobody around.  It's the little things.

Three 50'S

I have had a chance to have some great conversations come out of including a sentence in last week's blog about my battle with porn addiction.  After living in Hesston for 10 years, I guess I just assumed everybody knew.

I have not tried to hide it: I lead seminars on "Sex, Porn, and Intimacy"; I speak about it in youth group, from the pulpit, at youth conferences; have talked about it an ad for the Hesston Record.  But in case you've missed it, my testimony is this:

15 years ago I told Sal about my problem with porn.  Toughest thing on our marriage, ever.  Greatest burden ever shed, but just the beginning of learning more of who God created me to be.  At first I was so ashamed and didn't want anyone to know.  Slowly but surely, as God brought people into my life that I could share my past with, He showed me there was forgiveness and victory.

I call it an addiction to porn, because I believe that unless I continue to make choices to protect myself from temptations, I will get sucked right back into it.  On one hand I loved it, while on the other I hated it.  Satan would always tell me that I couldn't tell anybody about it.  That people would reject me and hate me if I told anyone.  What a liar.  Oh, I'm sure there are some that do.  But God has given me so much strength through the power of people knowing my past.

And there are three 50's that motivate me to share with people my story:

1. 50% of men/boys use porn- Some surveys say that number could be higher.  I go by 50%.  I know most people will think, "Not my family.  Not my husband.  Not my son.  Not my dad."  In my experiences and conversations, I have found 50% to be true.  If you want help, find someone you trust to talk to.  Also, check out www.xxxchurch.com.  Great resource.
2. 50% of junior highers have engaged in oral sex- Again, my guess is your saying, "No, not here in Hesston."  Parents, we have got to talk to our children not just about the birds and the bees, but about true love, intimacy, and God's plan for marriage.  It is not the church's, school's or a friend's responsibility to be the primary influence of our kids.  It is us as parents.  We have got to step up and have the tough conversations, even about oral sex.  Pick up Jim Burn's book "The Purity Code" for some great direction.
3. 50% of marriages end in divorce- I think we are afraid to say our marriage is struggling.  It is tough.  We grow up dating and dabbling in sex/intimacy with the out of breaking up.  What is it really like to give 100% to another person even when they don't deserve it.  We have to do a better job in our churches of teaching God's perspective of biblical marriage and offering resources to help couples before the "D" word starts being used.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose."  I will continue to talk about sex, porn, and intimacy for the rest of my life.  Christ offers freedom and deliverance through Truth.